


The Challenges We're Facing

by LaurensTurtles



Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Alex is smol, Alex was abused, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Anxiety, Depression, Fights, Foster Care, M/M, PTSD, Panic Attacks, Self-Harm, Slow Burn, Soulmate-Identifying Marks, Thomas is a dick, What Have I Done, alex is also loud mouthed, angelica is amazing, but i am impatient so may speed up, but then he is nice, eliza the cinnamon bun, everyone loves alex, i forgot i can't write oh well, it turns out okay, protect john laurens, the Washington's foster alex
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-03-18
Updated: 2018-04-13
Packaged: 2018-10-07 05:50:44
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 6
Words: 14,885
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10353570
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LaurensTurtles/pseuds/LaurensTurtles
Summary: I'm really bad at summaries; basically, Alex is fostered by the Washingon's and meets everyone and finally has a place where he belongs but then Thomas is a jerk and they get into a rivalry but then they fall in love because I'm worthless Jamilton trash.





	1. Longing for Something to Be a Part Of

**Author's Note:**

> So this is my first Hamilton fanfic and it's terrible but I had the idea in my head so I went with it. If you see any mistakes then please point it out so I can fix them. This chapter is short but I just wanted to get something out there, hopefully the next one will be longer.

There were few constants in Alexander Hamilton’s life. After being left by his father, held by his mother as she died, walking in on his cousin who had committed suicide and pushed around the American foster system after he had immigrated to the country, he was constantly prepared for everything in his life to change, to come crashing down on him like the hurricane that destroyed his village. He never let himself get comfortable anywhere, never let himself make friends or get attached, because none of it could ever last. He lived a life of determined solitude, his astute mind the only thing keeping him from becoming destitute, his resolve strong and his intellect stronger. 

However, there were some things that were guaranteed in Alex’s life.  
1) Alexander would make his mother proud one day, make her death worth something, make his survival worth something  
2) Alexander would create a legacy that would long outlive him, even without the support of a family  
3) The first words that Alexander’s soulmate would ever say to him would be “Be careful; Short Stack here might just jump up and punch you square in the knee” 

The last was a fact that had been plaguing Alexander since birth. People were born with the first words that their soulmate would say to them written across their wrists. For most people this was rather annoying, as the phrase would be something generic such as “Hi” or “Excuse me”. However, Alex was fairly sure that he was the only person in the world who was irritated by the soul marks because they insulted him. He had grown up with the burden that when he finally met his soulmate, they would most likely hate him, or at least be an arrogant ass that wasn’t worth his time in the first place. 

“Hamilton, it’s time to leave. Get in the car, Pipsqueak.” Alex groaned, the grating voice of his social worker, Samuel Seabury, breaking through his thoughts and automatically putting him in an even worse mood than before. This man’s job was to help children without homes, make them comfortable and safe, but all Seabury managed to do was set Alex on edge and make him disagree with everything the man said, no matter how true the statement actually was. But today it wasn’t just the fact that Seabury was talking to him that put Alex on edge, it was the words themselves. Today was the day that Alex would be driven to Virginia from New York to be placed under the care of yet another foster family. 

He had been told several times that this one would be different. These people would be kind, these people would not hurt him like the others, these people would not do to him what the others had done. He had been told this about the other families as well. It was never true. They were all the same. He was not their child, not their problem, so they wouldn’t pay him any attention, neglecting him for long periods of time, at least until he became an inconvenience, which he always did. That was even worse than the neglect. That’s when the beatings started, when he would be left covered in black and blue bruises. He had been admitted to the hospital several times since he had been placed in the foster system a year ago, when he had been 16. And now they were putting him with another family, a blank slate for the same thing to happen all over again. He could never break the cycle, no matter how hard he tried. 

And so, as he climbed into Seabury’s expensive car, ready to start the long journey to Virginia, Alexander was not filled with the hope and joy that was expected of him, but of a desolate desperation and expectations of failure. He was prepared like nobody else could be to face the infinite disasters of the universe, the newest in a long string of torments that life had thrown in his path. It was almost a reflex now to think of things this way, a protective barrier to his heart. It was cliché and sounded like the premise of a bad romance novel intended for pre-teens, but it worked. 

The drive was long, with Alex obstinately ignoring Seabury, and Seabury not attempting to strike up a conversation, his disdain for the boy well known. The air was thick with tension, suffocating and unwavering, as though it was out to drown everyone in its capacity. And Alex was left thinking that maybe it would be easier to just swim down, instead of trying to gasp for breath and ending up with lungs filled with toxins and one step closer to a death that he could never seem to reach.  
They didn’t arrive in Virginia until late in the evening, when the pink and yellow hues of the sunset had long since been resigned to oblivion by the blackness of the night sky. Alex was enthralled with the constellations of stars and the wide expanse of the open sky. Stars were something that he had not seen since he left the Caribbean, with the sky in New York being too polluted and the artificial lighting of the city being too strong, and he took comfort in the way they dotted the sky, made a signature across the otherwise paper blank heavens. Each star, no matter how far away, had a legacy on Earth. A power over the people, a captivating light, something to be remembered for. Even after they burned out, blasted into supernovas and black holes, they had an everlasting legacy. That was what Alexander strived for, what he craved more than anything in the world. 

Alex closed his eyes, resting his head against the cool glass of the window, finally letting the exhaustion of the day get the better of him. He didn’t notice falling asleep but not long after he was awoken by someone roughly shaking his shoulder, causing his entire body to rock. Alex flinched back from the touch, panic filling his eyes, but it was hidden quickly as he realized that it was Seabury waking him up. He sat up straight in the warm leather seat and brushed Seabury’s hand off his shoulder, peering out of the window to try and glimpse the house that would become his “home”. When his eyes finally adjusted to the dark, Alex gasped at the sight he was greeted with. A white house (mansion?) was perched atop a hill, bordered by two smaller buildings. In the centre was a circular courtyard, which sat in the middle of the path up to the front door. The red roof was clearly visible despite the dark, providing Alex with an idea of the true scale and height of the building, if it hadn’t been obvious before. The entire area was massive, Alex estimated it must be at least 11,000 square feet with the gardens. He felt dwarfed by the intimidating structure and started to feel the familiar grip of panic swell in his chest, pulling him into a cavern that he knew he soon would be unable to escape. 

Just as Alexander felt the dread settling in his stomach, the large door burst open and a teenage boy hurtled out into the drive, stopping just short of the parked car. He had dark skin and curly hair pulled into a ponytail that Alex was certain would become an afro if he let it loose. But the thing that Alex paid the most attention to was the wide grin that lit up his whole face as he peered at Alex through the glass. It was calming and infectious, the friendly, welcoming gaze helped calm Alex slightly, the panic residing until it was only a faint whisper in his chest, the tightening only slight and almost unnoticeable. 

Seabury opened his door, leaving Alex alone in the car. Not wanted to appear rude, Alex took a deep breath and let himself out of the car, stepping out onto the round gravel path. The night smelled like freshly cut grass and flowers in bloom. He could hear birds in the distance, despite the late hour, providing a lullaby for the scene. As soon as Alex stepped into the brisk air, he was engulfed into a tight hug, which was soothing, even if it did prevent the air reaching his lungs. The warm arms reminded him of when his mother used to hold him in the same way, protecting him from everything, from his father’s blows to the sickness that would eventually claim her own life. Then the warmth was gone, leaving him cold and confused. Why was he already comfortable with this unknown teenager?

“Alexander! C'est si bon de vous rencontrer enfin! Nous attendons depuis si longtemps! Je m'appelle Lafayette; bien c'est ce que tout le monde m'appelle, mon vrai nom est trop long. Nous sommes si heureux de vous avoir ici!” Lafayette spoke in French so fast that his syllables slipped together, but Alex just laughed, the sentiment of the words touching him deeply, helping to calm the last of his nerves.  
“Laf, calm down. Not everyone can speak French, don’t overwhelm Alexander as soon as he steps out of the car!” A friendly male voice sounded out, an amused lilt present, startling Alex and making him notice two knew people that he hadn’t even heard arriving. There was man and a woman, George and Martha Washington he presumed.  
“Ne vous inquiétez pas, le français est ma langue maternelle.” Alex interjected before the man could continue to admonish the boy. He looked shocked for a moment, before smiling brightly and stepping forward, shaking Alex’s hand. 

“Hello Alexander, I’m George. We’re very pleased to have you here.” He spoke in stiff but formal way that seemed to fit his personality perfectly. George was tall and broad, with tanned skin and a clean-shaven face. His suit was still pristine, even though he had obviously been wearing it all day. He had an obvious air of superiority and power about him, and Alex knew immediately that he didn’t want to be on the wrong side of this man. However, his eyes were bright, lit by the lamps around the house; his smile was warm and kind, welcoming Alex with each show of teeth, his affection for Lafayette and his wife obvious by the way he spoke to and held them. His hand was warm and strong, conveying comfort and support. If Alex wasn’t already certain that none of his foster homes would end better than the last, he would say that George would be a good foster father. 

After George stepped back, Alex was once again engulfed in a hug. This time it was petite feminine arms that wrapped around his torso, pulling him close to another person. He was suddenly overwhelmed with the scent of vanilla and cookies, as if she had been baking just before he arrived. The arms grew tighter around him for a second, before releasing him, leaving a woman who looked to be in her mid-forties standing in front of him. She smiled just as brightly as the other two, but there were glistening tears in her eyes. She  
radiated warmth and compassion, swathing Alex in its comfort.  
“Alexander! It’s so good to have you here. We’ve been looking forward to this ever since we were told about you. How about we get you inside; I’ve made cookies, I hope you like them. Oh, I’m Martha by the way.” 

Alex merely nodded slowly and Martha went to lead him inside, but he felt a tug at his collar, stopping him from walking any farther.  
“I better not have to come and pick you up any time soon, Hamilton. I don’t want to hear that you’re in hospital again; no more fights. I want this one to at least get you to eighteen, Hamilton. You better make it the year, because I will be far from pleased if I have to drive out here again to collect your ass.” Seabury practically hissed at him, quiet, but loud enough for the others to hear. Lafayette growled, preparing to say something but Martha shot him a look and he closed his mouth. It was George who stepped up to Seabury, looming large over the smaller man.

“Don’t you ever talk to him like that again. I want you to leave this property and my son alone and I never want to see you here again.” Alex flinched at the word ‘son’, but let it drop, not wanting to end up in Seabury’s position. George kept close to Seabury, watching the man cower under his gaze. Seabury nodded meekly and handed a thick file to George. Alex caught his name on the cover, but didn’t pay much attention to it, preferring to watch Samuel Seabury, a man he hoped to never see again, scuttle back to his car and speed off as fast as he could, terrified of staying for too long. George turned and smiled at Alex, his friendly demeanor returning. Lafayette stood on one side of Alex, Martha on the other, George next to her; in that fashion, they went up to the house, Lafayette carrying Alex’s small bag and smiles on all their faces.


	2. Damn, It's Getting Dark

Martha could bake. That’s the only thought that crossed through Alex’s mind as he bit into one of the chocolate chip cookies. It melted in his mouth, the centre gooey and delicious, the outside just crisp enough. They were better than anything that Alex had ever tasted. He thought back to the previous homes he had been in; the cruel, insensitive families that would never bake for Alex, or bake at all for that matter. It made him feel warm and safe and wanted, until he caught himself thinking those things and created a brutal reminder of all the other homes, accepting in his mind that this one could be no different. They were never different. 

Lafayette sat next to him, still and silent for the first time since Alex had arrived. He was peering at Alex with curiosity and confusion, as if Alex were a riddle that he just couldn’t figure out. It unnerved Alex slightly, but he didn’t want to ask Laf to stop. He was obviously loved by the Washingtons and if Alex didn’t get along with him, he would most definitely get sent away. George and Martha were on the other side of the kitchen to where Alex and Laf sat at the table. They were flicking through the file that Seabury had given them, frowns on their faces and talking in hushed whispers, their tones laced with disdain and maybe sympathy, Alex couldn’t tell. They looked almost angry, but something told Alex that it wasn’t at him. Whatever it said in that file didn’t portray a great picture of Alex or his life, that was for sure. 

Suddenly, George threw the file into a drawer and slammed it shut, shocking Alex and making a familiar wave of panic wash over him. He felt the tightening of his chest and began struggling to breathe. This was how it always started; his foster parents would get angry, or they would realise the things that Alex had done and then the abuse would start. It was a well-practiced routine and Alex was almost convinced that it was something that they taught foster families when they applied. Alex tried to take deep breaths, but he couldn’t find a rhythm and his lungs refused to take enough air. His ears felt like they were filled with water, sounds muffled and impossible to understand. He felt himself slipping, his vision going darker and he lost focus on the world. 

And then Laf was in front of him, smiling gently and motioning to Alex to breathe with him. In and out. In and out. In and out. It took Alex a few minutes to be able to completely imitate the breathing techniques that Laf was demonstrating, but eventually he managed it. Laf kept smiling gently at him and as his panic receded slightly he could hear the mumbled words that Laf was whispering; things like “It’s okay” and “I’m here” and “We won’t hurt you Alex” spilling from his lips, in both English and French. When Laf was satisfied that Alex was breathing again, he leant forward and whispered to him. 

“Is it okay if I touch you, Alex?” His voice was soothing and calming, putting Alex at ease. He only had to think for a second before nodding and Laf pulled him into a tight hug, careful not to startle Alex. It felt good, to have the consoling pressure of arms around him. It was something he hadn’t experienced since his mother died and he had almost forgotten how good it was. Over the warmth of Laf’s shoulder, he could see George and Martha watching them, concern and guilt in their expressions. He caught Martha’s eye and nodded, trying to reassure her that he was okay. She smiled lightly back at him, some of her concern melting into what Alex may interpret as pride and affection, if he wasn’t certain that they were probably just appalled that he had just had a meltdown in their kitchen, not worried about him. 

It was a few minutes before Laf pulled away, placing a comforting hand on Alex’s shoulder and grinning at him, understanding and encouragement shining in his eyes. Alex managed a weak smile back, which made Laf, whom Alex hadn’t even realised was tense and nervous, relax slightly, some of his worry receding.   
“Merci, Laf. I’m sorry.” Alex mumbled, his voice low and hoarse. Laf’s grin faded slightly but then it was replaced, even brighter than before and he hugged Alex once more.   
“It is no problem, mon petit lion. I understand. When George and Martha first adopted me, I had panic attacks too. Do not be sorry Alex.” He spoke in a gentle but firm way, leaving Alex no room to argue about his apology. He merely nodded and leant into Laf as the taller boy held him close, running a hand up his back comfortingly and playing with his hair. 

They stayed like that for a few moments before Alex pulled away and Martha joined them in their small huddle, soon followed by a still concerned looking George. They chatted for a while about trivial things, careful not to mention the panic attack or anything that may trigger another. They mostly began to talk about Alex’s new life, the school he would attend, the shopping trip that they would go on before then to get him supplies, Laf’s friends who would be sure to become his friends as well. It appeared as though Laf was planning on sticking around Alex and helping him settle in, something Alex was immensely grateful for. He learned about Laf’s boyfriend, Hercules, and their other best friend, John and how they would all be there for him on Alex’s first day and after that, if he still wanted them around after he made new friends. For the first time for as long as he could remember, Alex felt accepted and wanted, even by people that he didn’t even know yet. It was a pleasant feeling that Alex could get used to, but he told himself that even if this family was nicer than any that he’d had before, it couldn’t end well. He wasn’t theirs and eventually they would get bored of the scrappy immigrant who could never learn to keep his mouth shut. 

They talked for a while before there was a knock on the door, inciting confused faces and questioning glances between Laf, Martha and George. However, with a pace that could be deemed impolite and certainly portrays an urgency to the situation, there is another pounding knock, more forceful this time. Laf shrugs and goes to answer it, leaving Martha, George and Alexander in the kitchen. Martha turns to Alex and is about to say something when Laf returns to the kitchen with a boy that Alex assumes is either Hercules or John, from the friendly, knowing way that they interact. The boy is a few centimetres shorter than Alex, with wildly curly hair pulled back into a ponytail, his face pulled into a grin at something that Lafayette had said. However, although a laugh adorns his face for the moment, his face is stained with tear tracks and his eyes look puffy and red. He walks with a slight hunch, not as though he has an issue with his back or legs, but as if he is trying to hide the pain of an injury. Alexander wouldn’t have noticed it, if he hadn’t spent the last year doing the exact same thing. 

‘John, this is Alexander! He’s the boy I was telling you about. Alex, this is John Laurens, one of my best friends.” Laf is suddenly pulled out of his conversation with John, introducing Alex to the boy who is now looking shocked and a little embarrassed. John nods to Alex, who does his best attempt at a friendly reassuring nod back, but he is still concerned about John’s condition. His mind is racing with thoughts. Who did this? Does Laf know? Does anyone know? Alex feels his concern radiating off him and he knows that John isn’t completely convinced with Alex’s charade, but he must put it down to him being the slightly odd foster child who just arrived at a new home, because he just looks away with a slight smile and turns to talk to Mr and Mrs Washington. 

“Hi Martha, Hi George.” John says, his voice meek but familiar, obviously comfortable with the Washingtons from years of visiting their home.   
“Hi John, how are you?” Martha asks, softly but sternly, making Alex certain that she at least knew something of John’s situation, however oblivious Lafayette seemed to be. Alex felt some relief seep into him; at least John had someone looking out for him, whether he knew that they were aware of the situation or not. Martha started to fuss over John, asking questions and making sure he had everything he wanted. Alex didn’t quite know how to feel about that; on one hand he was glad that John had someone to help him through what Alex was now convinced was happening to him, but it also made him think about how alone he had been in the same situation, the way he had just been handed off to another family when he ended up in the hospital, the way he was told that the injuries were his fault, that he should have done better. 

“Alex, do you want any dinner? You can’t have had time to eat much on the way down from New York. We already ate, but I can make you something if you’d like.” Alex jumped at her voice and he saw a flash of worry in her eyes, but he quickly recovered from being pulled from his thought so abruptly.   
“No thank you, I’m okay.” He tried to make his voice as reassuring as possible, but if anything his words made Martha look even more concerned.   
“Are you sure Alex? You look like you could use some good food.” George intervened, his words a question, but his tone a gentle nudge, telling Alex exactly what he thought he should do.   
“I really am okay, I promise. I don’t really eat much.” This time Laf and John turned to look at Alex as well, Laf looking worried and John looking confused but somewhat understanding.   
“Alright dear. I suppose you did eat some of the cookies.” Martha turned around and began to prepare some food for John.

The kitchen was quiet for a few moments as Martha made food and the other four watched on in silence. She was making a sandwich, something simple that should be boring to watch being made, but Alex was fascinated with the domesticity of the action and the motherly affection that Martha seemed to have for John. It was a few moments before anyone broke the silence, but it was John himself who eventually did, a small blush creeping onto his face, his questions directed towards Alex. 

“So, Alexander, where are you from?” The voice was strong and drew Alex’s attention immediately, yet it possessed a timid nature, as though John was embarrassed, or he was naturally timid and had just spent years perfecting the art of commandeering a room.   
“Uh, Nevis. It’s an island in the Caribbean.” Alex’s own voice was carefully manufactured to portray a strong unaffected person and Alex hoped that his vulnerability and mixed feelings over his birth place didn’t show through. John didn’t seem to notice, surprising Alexander with his next words.   
“Eso es genial. ¿Cómo es? Espera, hablas español, ¿verdad?” This time John’s voice did lose some of its power, worry and humiliation seeping into it. Alex laughed slightly, impressed at the fluent way in which John spoke the language.   
“Sí hablo español, no te preocupes. Y en cuanto a Nevis, no puedo decir que tengo los mejores recuerdos, pero supongo que podría ser agradable.” 

The rest of the room was watching the exchange with a mixture of shock and amusement. There was a moment of silence before Alex just shrugged at them and turned back to John. However Laf seemed to have broken out of his reverie as, before Alex could say anything, he interjected with his own comment.   
“How do you speak Spanish and French? When did you have the time to learn them?” Laf sounded incredulous, but Alex just laughed and shrugged again.  
“I’m from the Caribbean Laf, most people there speaks Spanish. Kind of hard not to, if you want to talk to people. If anything, it’s the English that should impress you, I only started learning it when I was fifteen, because one of my foster families spoke it and it interested me.”   
Alex wasn’t sure that it was the language learning that left everyone staring at him then, or the casual mention of his past foster families. Either way, it took slightly longer for the shocked silence to wear off this time. 

“Anyway, we never got round to asking, but what brings you here John?” George was the one who finally spoke, an awkward edge to his voice that let Alex know that it was the mention of his foster family that caused the tense atmosphere in the room. At the question, John’s face grew sombre, almost sad, as though he was reminiscing about something that he knew he could never get back, as if this was the turning point. But then he pushed it aside, as though he’d had an internal battle and the other part had won, although Alex was determined to find out what he was fighting against. When he spoke John sounded light and airy, as though nothing had happened.   
“I was just wondering if I could stay here tonight, hang out with Laf. And Alex.” Alex could tell his name was added as an afterthought but he still appreciated it. After all, when John arrived, he had no idea that Alex would be here and so would have no plans with him. It was nice to be included. 

Martha nodded and simply handed John a plate with a sandwich on it, that was stuffed with so many fillings that Alex couldn’t even count them all.   
“Of course John, you know you’re welcome whenever. Why don’t you boys go upstairs and show Alex around. We haven’t even shown him his room yet. We’ll bring all of the stuff upstairs later, you go and have fun.” And with that, Lafayette had grabbed hold of his arm and was dragging him up a grand staircase, with John trailing just behind them. He hadn’t been here long and it probably wouldn’t work out for long, but Alex could tell in that moment that the time he spent here could be some of the best in his life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Spanish translations  
> Eso es genial. ¿Cómo es? Espera, hablas español, ¿verdad?= That's cool? What's it like? Wait, you speak Spanish, right?   
> Sí hablo español, no te preocupes. Y en cuanto a Nevis, no puedo decir que tengo los mejores recuerdos, pero supongo que podría ser agradable= Yes I speak Spanish don't worry. And as for Nevis, I can't say I have the best memories, but I soppose it could be nice
> 
> So, two years of Spanish didn't help me learn the language at all, so please let me know if there are any mistakes. Thank you all so much for the response on the last chapter, it means a lot to me and if you enjoyed this, please continue to leave kudos and comments to let me know that I should continue this. Thanks for reading.


	3. The World Turned Upside Down

The next morning Alex woke in the softest bed he had ever been in. In his dazed, half-awake state, he took a moment to realise where he was, the confusion of the luxuries around him that were so foreign to his everyday life making it difficult for him to comprehend that he wasn’t still dreaming. When his brain caught to the rest of the world, Alex took a moment to glance around the room. It was large, bigger than any bedroom he’d ever had, which was logical considering the size of the house, yet Alex still felt overwhelmed with something that half resembled gratitude and half resembled fear and resentment. The fact that this may be the best he’s had since his mother’s death and perhaps even before then would just make it more painful when it crashed and burned and he was left with a pile of ashes at his feet, another set of hopes and dreams drifting off in the smoke that seemed to follow him wherever he went, suffocating him slowly. 

When he had arrived in the room last night it had been obvious that Mrs Washington had been shopping for him. After realising that he should unpack his things, Alex had gone to the wardrobe, opening it to find it all fully stocked in clothes his size, for all different occasions. He had no idea how Martha had gotten hold of his measurements, but the clothes looked lavish and comfortable and Alex was not about to complain. Next, he had gone to the oak desk set under the window, which had a MacBook Air and an iPhone placed on top, with a note that read “Alexander, we thought you might need these. Welcome home.” He had been understandably shocked by the expensive gifts but was afraid to turn them down, for fear of seeming ungrateful or disobedient. He didn’t want this to go wrong so quickly. 

Last night had been one of the best of Alex’s life. He, Laf and John had gone into the home theatre and watched several movies, even though the lateness of the hour meant that all three fell asleep for most of them. Laf, having had the least stressful day (and appearing to just be a naturally energetic and hyperactive person) stayed awake longer than the other two, laughing at them for being unable to stay awake and attempting to rouse them in any way possible when they fell victim to a slumber. Both Laf and John had accepted Alex into the group, making sure to include him in conversation and explain the things they were talking about when he didn’t understand. They asked Alex a bit about his background but didn’t press the issue when he refused to talk, although John gave him a sympathetic and somewhat knowing look. They promised that Alex was a part of their gang, which they called the Revolutionary Set, whether he liked it or not. All in all, Alex wasn’t sure if he had ever been happier. Now he was just waiting for the crash. 

Alex walked into his en-suite, bringing in a pile of clothes, placing them on top of the toilet seat. Looking around the room, Alex noticed the marble tiles and crystal soap holders but paid little notice to them. He had only been in the house for a night but he already knew that the Washingtons were very rich and they didn’t make an effort to hide it either. The only thing that really set them apart from other pompously rich families is the fact that they didn’t try and brag about it. They lived to their means; those means just happened to be above anything that Alex had ever experienced.

He pondered over this as he stepped into the shower. He wondered what his new life would be like. He had friends here already, with at least one more promised to him. The Washingtons seemed to be nice and supportive and they were obviously wonderful parents to Lafayette. Realising what he was doing, Alex quenched the hope that was rising in him. The more he thought about how brilliant his future may be here, the harder it would be to give it all up. Still, he couldn’t help wonder at what it would be like to have a sibling again and how Laf would compare to James, who had always reminded him so much of his father, that it was hard to set them apart, however close the siblings may have been. It might be nice to have a brother who didn’t constantly remind you of the worst person in your life. 

After showering and getting dressed, both which involved products that Alex was afraid to even guess the price of, he walked back into his room. He almost had a heart attack when he realised that it wasn’t empty anymore; Laf and John were sprawled across his (now made) bed, along with a boy Alex had never met before. All three boys looked up when Alex walked into the room, John and Laf breaking into large grins and the other boy smiling sheepishly, as though he, at least, saw the strangeness of lying on a perfect stranger’s bed. 

“Alexander!” Laf was practically bursting with energy, something that Alex found incomprehensible, considering that it was only half seven in the morning. His own returning smile was slightly weak and lacked the energy that Laf was radiating, but the other boy didn’t seem to notice or care. “This is Hercules!” he continued on, ending his sentence by pulling Hercules into a kiss, which lasted long enough that Alex and John began to share incredulous looks, before John pulled a face and Alex burst out laughing, pulling Lafayette and Hercules out of their haze. John had a smug and almost proud look on his face, but the cause of this was something that Alex couldn’t decipher.   
“You can call me Herc. I imagine we’re going to be spending a lot of time together.”  
“Alexander. Um Alex.” Herc smiled brightly and then held out his hand for Alex to shake. Hesitantly, he did, but in the process he accidentally pulled up the long sleeve of his shirt, exposing the writing scrawled across his wrist. 

Most people kept the writing on their wrist hidden, either under sleeves or a wristband that could be purchased from nearly every convenience store in the world. Alex had never been able to afford one before but had been hoping that he would get one in this home. However, he had assumed that sleeves would suffice for now. At the moment he was praying that Herc hadn’t had time to read the words, and thought his prayer had been answered until Herc burst out laughing.

“I’m sorry Alex, but short stack? You’ve had that on your arm your whole life? Damn.” He barely managed to get the words out between his fits of hysterical laughter and although Alex could feel his cheeks heating up at the attention, he couldn’t help but laugh along. Herc’s laugh was one of those deep, rumbling laughs that could make anyone laugh with him, even if they were the one being laughed at. Objectively, Alex knew it wasn’t him that Herc was laughing at, rather the words that his soulmate would one day say to him, but it still made him feel a little awkward having all the attention on him.

“Um… what exactly is going on?” John was the first one to break through the laughing, his voice confused and incredulous. Alex sighed, knowing that there was no feasible way to escape the situation and pulled up his sleeve again to show John and Laf the scripture on his wrist. Laf started laughing along with his boyfriend, but John just stared at the writing curiously, examining it closely, as if staring enough would tell him who would one day speak the sentence. Eventually, he let out a small breathy laugh, but it lacked any humour and Alex might have imagined it, but he thought he heard John give a sad sigh, that matched the desolate expression in his eyes. 

Alex looked at him with curiosity etched upon his tan face, waiting for John to either give an explanation or to pretend that it didn’t happen. Herc and Laf had stopped laughing and were now staring at John almost sympathetically, although Alex imagined that John wasn’t the type of person who would accept open sympathy from anyone, even his closest friends. He was tempted to push the subject but figured that he wasn’t close enough to John yet to ask such personal questions. If they had the time to become close enough friends before Alex was kicked out, then John would tell him himself, without Alex having to ask. 

‘Anywaaay..” Herc was the first one to break the slightly awkward silence that had fallen over the group like a thick winter blanket. He was shuffling slightly in his seat on the bed, a look of guilt etched upon his face, as though this was a taboo subject that the tree friends never broke. “Martha said to come downstairs for breakfast. Apparently you have an admission meeting with the school today. You’ll have to be ready to leave pretty soon if we’re going to be on time.” 

Alex felt his face shift, the joking atmosphere fading altogether as the severity of what was about to happen sunk in. The Washingtons were finding him a school. He had an interview for a school. He was torn between excited and apprehensive, hoping both to love the school and hate it. If he loved it, at least his time there would be somewhat enjoyable, unlike many of the other schools he had been to, where he constantly faced bullying and the lessons didn’t even make up for it. However, like all things in Alex’s life, this school would be taken away sooner or later and loving it would only make it harder to leave. 

Laf must have noticed the change in Alex, because he put a comforting hand on his shoulder. However he didn’t say anything, which Alex was grateful for, just squeezed and then let go. Alex mourned the loss of contact for a mere second before Laf was grabbing his hand and pulling his up off of the bed. Alex went willingly as he was dragged from the room, John and Hercules hot on their trail as they practically ran down the stairs. They almost tumbled down, John running too fast and crashing into Alex and Laf; the only thing stopping them all from becoming a tangled heap at the bottom of the stairs being Hercules’ quick reflexes and strong arms.

As Alex was dragged into the kitchen he noticed that once again the smells of baking filled the room, thick and heavy, almost suffocating, but comforting in a way that Alex wasn’t used to. He felt himself becoming expectant on Martha’s baking, on her care and comfort and shook himself. He couldn’t begin to rely on Martha too heavily, not the way he used to rely on his mother. Because she was gone and Alex had been left to flounder, barely surviving, scraping by, and he would not be put in that position again. He would not be left so completely broken that when he remerged from grieving he was a different person again. 

“Alex! Good morning sweetie.” Martha’s melodious voice called to him and he grinned in response. “Did the boys tell you about your interview today?” Alex nodded and smiled again as Martha put a steaming plate of pancakes in front him and the other three boys, along with pots of syrup and honey. They all dug in, with Alex hesitantly cutting the food up and chewing it. They ate in relative silence, with the only noise being the occasional yelp from Laf, John or Herc as the others would kick them or steal some of their food. Alex smiled slightly every time it happened, feeling overwhelmed that he was now part of such a close knit group of friends. That was until Laf stole a whole pancake from his plate.

Once they were done eating Martha ushered them outside and into the car. She insisted that Alex take the shotgun seat, fussing over him and making sure that he had everything he needed. Alex laughed it off, saying that he didn’t need anything, but inside he was relishing in the love and attention while it lasted. He settled himself into the seat, only turning around to laugh at John’s comments, or yelp when Laf hit him in the back of the head, still being petty over the loss of his usual seat in shotgun. When Alex laughingly asked him why he was so intent on being a pain, Laf just replied with “That’s what brothers are for Alexander.” And Alex didn’t stop grinning the whole way to the school, Martha smiling gently beside him. 

Arriving at the school Alex was hit with a sense of déjà vu from the night before. It was like pulling up to the Washingtons all over again, the extravagant building and imposing stature. The building itself was formed of red brick, with a colossal staircase leading up to the front doors. It had large windows on every floor and stained glass on the bottom floor, indicating that it held some significant rooms. The school was much taller than Alex had expected of Virginian buildings, being about two floors higher than the Washington mansion. He was used to the monstrous height of New York buildings, knowing his way around the city and the best ways to weave through the skyscrapers, but he wasn’t prepared for the size of the school in front of him. 

He was pulled along suddenly when Laf took his hand and led him forward to where the others were walking, keeping his hand in Alex’s when they caught up, occasionally squeezing it to provide comfort. Alex could see Herc turn around slightly and smile softly at his boyfriend, before grinning at Alex and then turning back to John. A small smile made its way onto Alexander’s face, one that he knew had been present more in the last day than it had been since his mother died. But he was finally surrounded by friends and family who seemed to care for him, acted as though they could love him if he stayed, as if they already loved him. 

They entered the school and Alex began to relax slightly as he recognised many of the features of a typical high school. Although the outside had been regal and looked as though it belonged in a high socialite Virginian community, the inside looked just like most of the schools Alex had been to in New York. They were in a long corridor with shiny linoleum floors and royal blue and red lockers adorning the walls in never ending rows. Students milled around outside open lockers, chatting loudly with their friends, joking and pushing, laughing as they ran down the hall. Alex paused slightly, taking a large breath to steady himself and then walking forward with Laf. 

 

Martha had disappeared in front of them, walking along with John and Hercules, mothering them whilst she had the chance. Every once on a while she would glance back at Alex, her smile prevalent and her eyes glistening, pride and adoration plastered on her face as she looked at Alex and Laf, her sons. The two boys in question chatted merrily as Laf explained about the school and pointed out some of his classrooms and favourite places as they passed them. 

Alex was settling into the background of the hustle of the school, until he felt a solid chest collide with his, which would have knocked him to the ground if not for Laf’s hand pulling him back up. Alexander looked up hesitantly and stepped back, mumbling apologies and trying to make an exit without humiliating himself anymore. Looking at the boy he had walked into he stumbled back a few more steps. The boy (could he even be described as a boy? He looked like a fully grown man.) looked to be only a little taller than Alex, however he was so broad and muscular that it was hard to picture him as small, as Alex was often described. He looked a little like Hercules, the same body shape and facial features, however where Herc was all laughter and joking, this boy looked as though he had never smiled in his life and would beat you up if given a chance. 

At that moment he had a murderous look on his face, his eyes drawn together and his mouth pulled into a deep frown. He started towards Alex, who backed up more, until he was pressed against one of the lockers adorning the walls. Feeling the cool metal pressing into his back, Alex snapped, letting his anger get the better of him and he raised his fist up in an attempt to punch the boy in the jaw. It would have been a solid punch, had Laf not grabbed his fist first and smiled sheepishly at someone standing behind the boy, whom Alex had not before noticed.

The other boy was much taller than the first one, but less muscular and broad, instead having a more chiselled and sculpted appearance, as though every part of his image was carefully put together through hours of hard work. He had large poufy hair, not quite an afro, as it was slightly too out of place and wild, but even that looked intentional and perfect. He had dark skin that appeared blemish free and a smirk lightly touched his on mouth, perfectly placed for maximum effect. He let out a short laugh as he stared at Alex, and gazed directly at him. 

“Be careful; Short Stack here might just jump up and punch you square in the knee” His words were spoken clearly and concisely, as though he had no idea the gravity that they would have on the boy in front of him. He had been staring right at Alex, the words were meant for him. His heart felt like it stopped beating and simultaneously started beating faster than ever. Alex involuntarily let out a small gasp and his had flew to grab his wrist, is eyes darting over the tall boy as fast as physically possible. Laf had placed his hand on Alex’s shoulder and although Alex couldn’t see his face, he could feel the shock radiating off of him. The boy didn’t seem to notice, or if he did he most likely attributed it to some sort of issue with Alex’s brain, and he kept laughing. 

“What’s your name, Pipsqueak?” His words made Alex snap out of the daze he hadn’t realised he was in, just long enough to stutter out “Alexander Hamilton.” He saw the other boy stumble back slightly and the first boy that Alex had bumped into turned around in shock. It was Alex’s turn to let out a small laugh as he watched his soulmate reach the same conclusion that he had only moments before. “And what’s your name?” he pressed for an answer. 

“Thomas Jefferson.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So they finally met. And I finally updated. I literally have no excuse for the months it's been since I last updated. I could tell you about how school and exams have been kicking my ass, but honestly, I think I just procrastinated my way through this chapter. But school is nearly over now (I go to school in England so we don't get summer break until half way through July) so hopefully it won't be too long until a new chapter is up. Thank you for all the support that this fic is getting, reading your comments really keeps me motivated so it would be great if you could keep leaving them.


	4. Someone's Gotta Keep the American Promise

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex and Thomas talk and Alex has a slight mental breakdown.

They both stood in shock for a few moments, staring at each other with wonderment and awe. Realising the gravity of the situation, their respective friends just watched the impending train wreck silently, neither one sure what was about to happen, but both certain that this pairing could never end well, though if it was because they were too similar or too different, neither could figure out.   
Thomas and Alexander merely gazed at each other intently, the moments passing in a whirlwind fashion, feeling as if a thousand years had passed and also as if it had been nanoseconds since they realised the truth. It was as if all the time in the world would never be enough for them, now that they were ‘complete’ with their soulmate, now that they had discovered the person they were destined to be with forever. 

Alexander couldn’t help but notice how beautiful the other boy was as he stared. His hair was carved from obsidian, an orb of curls framing his face like a strange halo, as if he was destined to be some sort of angel, the perfect solace for someone in a world as unforgiving as their own. His eyes shouldn’t have been anything as spectacular as they were, a simple dark brown that somehow managed to enthral Alexander, reeling him in like a whirlpool, enticing, welcoming, possibly, probably, lethal. Alex could imagine becoming addicted to the mere sight of Thomas, his presence more alluring than any illegal substance. 

His own brain was the one to break him out of his soulmate induced haze this time, sending sparks up and down Alex’s spine, reminding him that the boy in front of him had looked as though he had wanted him dead only moments before, reminding him that he could never let himself enjoy this, reminding him that everything and everyone he had ever loved had left or died. 

It was Thomas who broke the silence first, his mind whirring at the recent discoveries. 

“I think we need to talk.” His voice matched his appearance perfectly, the silky southern drawl more pronounced than anyone that he had met so far in Virginia, drawing Alex in and making him want to listen to it on loop for the rest of his life. Thomas began to walk away slowly, so Alex glanced back at Laf one last time and was greeted with a grin and a nod, all the encouragement that he needed to follow the taller boy to wherever it is that they were headed. He missed the concerned glance that Laf and the other boy (whom he would later find out was named James Madison) gave each other as they walked away. 

Thomas led Alex into a deserted classroom, more like the ones in New York than Alex had been expecting, with rows of abused desks and a similar desk at the front with a computer on it. Thomas sat on the teacher’s desk, leaving Alex to perch on top of one of the student desks. He refused to sit in the chair, realising that that would give Thomas even more power than he already seemed to assume he had.

“So, you’re my soulmate,” Thomas said the words with a mixture of both apprehension and disgust, causing Alex to immediately to put his guard up and become defensive, familiar anger appearing. He made the decision in that second to not show how terrified he was, to not show how much it shook him to be standing in front of his long-awaited, but ill-fated, soulmate. Instead, he put on the same face of angry indifference that he had perfected during his time in the New York foster system.

“Unfortunately it would appear so.” Alex managed to spit out, watching in satisfaction as Thomas’ eyes hardened and a slightly surprised expression appeared on his previously emotionless face. Obviously, he wasn’t used to people being brave enough to argue back when he verbally abused them. Alex, however, had seen this before, all through his life. People who wanted the power in a situation so would demand things from him (answers, words, actions), expecting him to give and give and give, but being surprised when he fought back.

‘But you stopped fighting, didn’t you? Let them do what they wanted in the end.’ 

“So, where are you from? Obviously not from around here.” Thomas sounded awkward now, the conversation stilted and uncomfortable, but somehow the arrogance from before didn’t quite leave his voice. He somehow still managed to sound like wherever Alex was from it could never be good enough for Thomas. It was a trait ingrained into the Virginian elite, Alex supposed.

“A lot of places really, but I always say I’m from Queens.” Alex stared Thomas down, making sure he didn’t show any emotions, didn’t show how much this conversation was draining him.

“So why the hell are you in Virginia?” The harsh bitter tone in Thomas’ voice nearly made Alex flinch, but he held his ground and replied in a stoic voice. This was how Thomas dealt with the things that scared him. If he hurt people first, if he never got close to them in the first place, there was no way he would end up hurt. 

“Foster family down here. Don’t worry, I’ll probably be back in New York by the end of the month.” With that Alex stalked out of the room, running straight into Laf, who looked at him sympathetically and linked their arms together, walking down the hall to where he could see Martha waiting in the distance. He missed the shock on Thomas’ face, the disappointment that lingered there long after the door had slammed behind Alex; long after his chances of redemption were obliterated.

“You will not be back in New York by the end of the month Alex,” Laf whispered in his ear, pulling Alex into a side hug as they continued to walk down the hall. Alex nodded stiffly, not quite believing him, but not having enough energy to argue. Laf tightened his hold, creating a safe space for Alex as he buried his head in Laf’s chest. Martha glanced at him worriedly when they caught up, but Laf sent her a subtle shake of the head and she let it drop, merely placing a gentle hand on Alex’s shoulder. Alex detached himself from Laf and smiled at Martha reassuringly. 

The meeting with the principle passed in a blur for Alex, who simply replied to questions with what he hoped were the right answers. From the way Martha was smiling at him, he guessed he was doing alright. Laf had been forced to wait outside the office, for privacy reasons, which made Alex a little anxious, having found comfort in the French boy. It should have scared Alex that he was so attached to Lafayette after so little time, but Alex couldn’t bring himself to care, instead, he just took the support that was offered while he still had it. 

The Washington’s were amazing people, caring and supportive and they obviously had enough love to spare, if their treatment of both Laf and himself were anything to go by. But that was the main problem for Alex, they were too good. One day they would discover the things he had done in the Caribbean, continued to do in New York. He couldn’t even forgive himself for those things let alone expect others to accept him. And they would discover his terror of storms, grow impatient as he needed more attention and help, give up when they realised that he couldn’t be fixed. Alexander would break the Washington’s spirit, destroy their kindness. But he was beginning to realise that he didn’t know how to lose them. How to be without them. 

It had only been a day.

Alex remained practically silent as they drove home, absorbed in thoughts of chocolate eyes and harsh words, family and heartache. Laf had opted to sit in the back with him and Alex leant against him, relishing in the warmth that Laf gave out. Lafayette seemed to realise that he didn’t want to talk and had pulled out his phone and started playing a game, giving silent support to Alex, one arm slung over Alex’s shoulder. 

Martha kept glancing in the mirror to check on them both, smiling slightly at the sight of them, but Alex noticed that the worried look in her eyes never went away. She wanted to help him, Alex could tell, but she didn’t know how. Alex didn’t want her to know how, didn’t want her to be dragged down into his mess. He selfishly wanted to stay with the Washington’s, the parents he had wished for for so long, the brother he had always wanted his to be. As soon as they realised he was helpless, the quicker he would be carted back to New York, Seabury’s reproachful glare targeted on him once more. 

He couldn’t let them know the truth. Nobody could ever know the truth.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the short chapter and long wait time, but thank you for all the amazing comments and support that I've been getting. I appreciate everyone who reads and comments so much. Also, anything that is said in italics is in French, I realised that this would be an easier way to show the differences in language. Hope you all enjoyed the chapter anyway, thanks for reading.


	5. Lookin' For A Mind At Work

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A few new faces and some actual progress between Alex and Thomas. Kind of.

Alexander had been at the Washington's for almost a week when Lafayette came bounding into his room first thing in the morning, grin wide upon his face, eyes lit up. Alex sat up groggily, staring at Laf as though he had gone crazy. 

"Mon ami, you must come downstairs! The Schuyler sisters are here!" 

Alex continued to stare at Laf incredulously, not having the energy just yet to fully comprehend what he was saying. He squinted up at him, trying to sort through the words that had just been spouted, before they finally clicked into place. Not that this helped him much, he still had no idea who the Schuyler sisters were. 

Before he could ask however, Alex was being dragged out of bed and a bundle of clothes was being thrown at him. He stood in the middle of his floor for a second after Laf ran from the room, reeling from the whirlwind that was now his brother. He stumbled into the bathroom and got ready before slowly descending the stairs, almost scared about what he would find when he got to the bottom. 

Instead of the horror show that he had been imagining, he found Laf sitting on the sofas in the living room, laughing and joking with three girls. They all turned to stare at him as he walked in, Laf jumping up to introduce him to them. 

"Alex, these are the Schuylers. They live down the street." The sisters all stood two, pleasant smiles on their faces. Alex took the time to size them up as they each greeted him. 

The first girl was tall and dark skinned, with almost violently curly hair that framed her face like the flames of a fire. Her eyes were also like fire, burning furnaces that were both bright and terrifying, with the power to either give life or destroy it. Alex got the feeling it reflected her personality, especially when she spoke to say her name. Angelica. She had a voice like honey, but Alex could tell that it would become knife blades when she was pissed. 

The second sister, Eliza, was softer, seemed far more innocent, less like she would rip you apart if you ever wronged her. She looked to be of Asian heritage, which intrigued Alex looking at her sisters. Eliza was soft and warm, her very presence making Alex feel safe and calm, a quality that not many people had mastered. However, Alex got the impression that she was fiercely protective of anyone she loved. If Angelica was a burning fire waiting for fuel, then Eliza was a candle, flickering and providing light and hope for all who came into contact with her. 

And then there was Peggy, the final sister, who greeted Alex with an enthusiastic hug and a grin that looked like it could never leave her face. Peggy was harder to read than the other girls, her bubbly persona was impossible to see through, but her eyes a whirling storm of emotions. She was the kind of person who seemed like they could never break, never be anything but happy, but had been through the worst things. Her eyes seemed to be a storm, some sort of tornado that was as unpredictable as it was dangerous. Alex liked her immediately. 

After the initial introductions, Alex began to feel slightly anxious. He had never been good with new people, especially if he had to interact with them for long periods of time right after they met. They decided to watch a movie, one that Alex had never even heard of, and all sat back down on the couches. Alex sat next to Laf, who slung an arm around his shoulders, pulling him close to his side, a reassuring smile on his face as he squeezed Alex's shoulder. 

About an hour into the movie, something about a barber in London who sung and killed people, Alex got up and went into the kitchen for some water. He was reaching for a bottle in the back of the fridge when he felt the presence of someone behind him. Turning around he came face to face with Peggy, who had a soft smile on her face. She still had the joyful, innocent vibe, but she was now slightly more real. It was like she had deflated when she was away from her sisters, allowed herself to drop the façade that she kept up all the time. Alex realised that it wasn't that her happiness was fake, just amplified for show. 

"Peggy." Alex decided not to push her into talking. She obviously followed him in here for a reason, so there was no reason to rush things. Alex had learned that people would only talk honestly If they wanted to, never if they were forced to. 

"I heard about you," she was staring at him as she said it, but not in an accusatory way, more in an understanding and sympathetic tone. "From New York. You were infamous. I just wanted to let you know, I'm not going to tell anyone, that's your business. But I'm always here, if you want to talk."

Alex stared at her for a moment, unsure how to react. He had been so afraid that someone in his new life here would find out about him, would hate him for it, be disgusted, would send him back. He didn't account for the fact that someone might already know and he definitely didn't factor in that they would be so kind and compassionate about it. 

"You were in New York?" It was all his brain would supply, still not quite caught up with the rest of what Peggy had said. She shook her head, eyes curious and captivating. 

"No, but word travels a long way in the system. Angelica was already adopted by the time word spread about you, so don't worry about her. I'm the only one who knows anything." Alex nodded with a smile and was almost knocked over by the hug that Peggy gave him. "You're going to be okay, Alexander." 

With that she took his hand, squeezed once, and led him back to the others. This time, when Alex sat down, she sat next to him and rested her head on his shoulder, snuggling into his warmth. Alex smiled, she grinned back, a real one this time. The others were staring, but Alex could hardly bring himself to care. He had a feeling he would like the Schuyler sisters very much. 

¬¬¬¬¬------------------------------------------------

It was a week later that Alex started school. He had hung out with the Schuyler's a few more times, as well as John and Herc. Whilst he had enjoyed their company, he was looking forward to starting school again. In Alex's opinion, having an idle mind was synonymous for being left behind, forgotten. He had to work on something at all times, had to make it worth every sacrifice ever made for him. 

Alex practically dragged Lafayette up the steps after they had said goodbye to Martha, eager to get to his first class. He had to go and see the guidance councillor first to get his timetable and map, as well as be briefed on the ethos of the school. Alex had a feeling that this wasn't something normal new students had to do, as he had heard from Laf that it was normally just a quick trip to the main reception, but being an orphan immigrant got you special treatment he supposed. 

His first class was Advanced Spanish with Señora Lopez, something Alex had only taken because the school required all students to take two languages at some point of their schooling, and Alex had never taken one. As French and Spanish were the only two languages offered by the school, he was stuck learning two languages that he was already fluent in. Although, it wasn't like he was complaining; it would probably do him good to have some more relaxing classes, mixed with his Advanced Mathematics, English, History and Politics. 

As he walked into the class, he noticed that most people were already sat down at their desks, and the teacher was writing something on the board at the front. She looked over at him and her face hardened as she noticed the late student. Alex tried to smile and not look as awkward as he felt, but he had no idea what to do next. Luckily, she took the options out of his control. 

"And who are you?" Her voice was harsh and firm, although slightly disjointed, as though she had not quite mastered the pronunciation of the English language. Despite this, her voice had a rich quality, almost like honey, thick and smooth. 

"Alexander Hamilton." At this, Alex saw a blur of movement from the class. He glanced over and stared in shock at what he saw. Right there in the middle of the class was none other than Thomas Jefferson. Great. Alex quickly looked away, determined not to let Jefferson see the inevitable swirl of emotions that he had always found so hard to mask in his eyes. 

"Ah that's right, Mr Hamilton. I don't know how things work up in New York, but we don't tolerate lateness here. Why don't you introduce yourself. In Spanish, if that's not too much effort for you." Her voice took on a sarcastic quality, almost patronising. It grated at Alex, making him determined to prove himself to her, make her realise that he was more than his first impression. 

"Well, my name is Alex, I'm seventeen and I moved here from New York. I'm originally from the Caribbean though. I moved to America about a year ago and now I'm here in Virginia to live with my new foster family. I don't really have anything else to say about myself, apart from the fact that I talk too much and you'll probably all hate me by the time I go back to New York." 

As Alex looked up from the place where he had been staring at the ground, he saw the entire class staring at him, including Señora Lopez. Alex flushed, a warm pink spreading across the tan of his skin, a tidal wave of emotions that burst from his cheeks and spread to cover his face, splashing as far as the tips of his ears. Then Señora Lopez grinned and her face softened and she suddenly appeared far nicer than her original impression. 

"Thank you Alexander, you may take a seat. Just don't be late again." Alex nodded gratefully, relief pouring over him, melting his fraught nerves and he rushed to the only spare seat in the room. Directly behind Thomas Jefferson. Alex nearly groaned and he instantly hid his face in his arm, determined not to draw any more attention to himself. 

"Hey, I'm Maria." He heard from next to him, as a light tap was felt against his hand. He noticed Thomas tense in front of him, but he ignored it and turned to face Maria. She was a pretty girl, with dark olive skin, fiercely curly hair and striking eyes. They were like honey, a rich golden brown that sucked him in and he almost felt himself getting stuck. Pulling himself out of it and smiling slightly, he nodded and introduced himself. 

"You're living with the Washington's right? Eliza's told me about you. Do you like it there? Lafayette's told me they're great." She smiled brightly this time and Alexander felt himself nodding along to what she was saying. 

"Yeah, I'm staying with the Washingtons. They're pretty cool I guess. How do you know Laf and Eliza?" 

Alex never liked to admit it, but he believed that first impressions were a big deal. In New York, being pushed around from family to family, he could always tell how it was going to end just by their first interactions. It's not like he didn't believe that people could change, he just saw people more like a piece of writing. At first you had a rough draft and then the more time spent with a person, the more the final piece emerged. It was different than what was originally written, sure, but that initial draft was still there. Maria gave a good first impression. She was sweet and bubbly, but you could see from her eyes how passionate and opinionated she was. Alexander liked her.   
"Oh, I'm dating Eliza. And her friends come along with that. I hope we can be friends too." Alex was surprised to find out about this relationship, but thinking about it, Alexander could see how it worked. Eliza was sweet and bubbly to her core, her personality was good and whole. She overflowed with kindness and gave it away as if were nothing, not realising that sometimes that was the only kindness people had ever known. Maria was just as sweet, but she had a reservation about her, eyes that had seen pain and a soul that had felt it. She was fiery and fierce, a contrast to Eliza, but like the opposite puzzle piece. They slotted together like they were the only ones who could ever stand beside the other. 

Alex smiled and nodded, being rewarded by another grin from Maria before they both turned back to pay attention to the lesson. Alexander was called upon a few times, the class taking advantage of his fluency, but he didn't mind. In fact he quite liked the connection to the language that was his one link left to his home. By the time the lesson was over, Alex was smiling and felt more optimistic than he had in a while. That was until he felt a tug on his sleeve as he walked out of the door behind Maria. 

Thomas Jefferson stood there, his hand still clasped around Alexander's sleeve as though it were the only thing keeping him from turning and running away. Maria glanced back at him, concern etched upon he features, but Alex nodded to her and she walked to her next class, only occasionally glancing back at the two. 

"Alexander." Thomas sounded choked as he spoke even though his words were slow and deliberate, like he didn't know what he wanted to say. "I think… well I may have… I, I don't know. I was wrong, last time we met. I didn't mean to be so… rude? I want to make it up to you." 

Alex stared up at him in shock, not having expected that. He opened him mouth to speak, but no words came out, instead only being able to nod his head slowly. The grin that spread across Thomas' face was well worth the cotton filling Alexander's brain. It was beautiful in a way that Alexander had never known existed, it was sunlight spilling across the sky, stars twinkling in his eyes. Alex hadn't felt it before, but seeing Thomas happy, how it made Alexander himself feel, Alex could see himself loving Thomas. 

"I can, uh, meet you outside the gates at the end of the day, we can go to this café that I know and grab a coffee?" The hope in Thomas' voice convinced Alex (as if he'd needed convincing) that he needed to give Thomas a chance. The universe had made them soulmates, there must be something between them, some bond, a connection somewhere.

"Sure, I'll see you later then."

"Until then, Alexander." Thomas sounded genuinely shocked that he had convinced Alex to give him a chance and it made Alex's heart melt. Then he began cursing himself, telling himself that he should not develop feelings, soulmates or not. He would go back to New York and leave Thomas alone; another trail of destruction left in his wake. Or Thomas would find out about his past and leave him. But, despite the fact that Alexander could see no way this would end well, he let a smile spread on his face, a tentative sunrise. It felt like a new beginning and it felt better than anything he'd had before. 

"Yeah, see you later Thomas."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please leave kudos and comment, they make my day and really give me an idea of how the story is going an dwhere it might end up. Hope you enjoyed.


	6. This is Not a Moment, It's the Movement

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex freaks out, Laf is the best brother ever and Alex and John talk some more. Basically a collection of nonsense.

It was at lunch later that day that Alex realised that he may be in over his head with the Thomas situation. He had been looking forward to their planned meeting, anticipation planting its roots in his mind, stemming up and setting his nerves on fire. He could no longer think of any reason why he shouldn’t go and see Thomas. After all, they were soulmates. Who was he to argue with the will of fate; the universe itself?

However, seeing Laf waving him over at lunch, seeing the group of people smiling up at him as he sat down, he realised everything he had to lose. Everything he had already lost. It was hard to imagine life anymore without Lafayette bounding into his room every morning, waking him up with a chorus of French. Without John’s freckles and the shine in his eyes when he smiled. Without Herc and his gruff appearance, but his love of fashion and fabrics. He couldn’t imagine not seeing the Schuyler sisters every day, with Angelica’s grace and Eliza’s warmth and Peggy’s understanding. He could grow close to Thomas too, let him in, love him just as fiercely as he was beginning to love his new makeshift family. He could lose him too. He wasn’t sure he could handle having another person to lose. 

Laf must have noticed the frown on Alex’s face as he sat down, as he placed a gentle hand on his shoulder and quickly gave him a hug, but Alex was grateful that he didn’t say anything. He couldn’t handle everyone knowing that Thomas was his soulmate, or that Alex was too weak to trust him. They would take Thomas’ side in this, he knew, as he had been here far longer than Alex, and had built up trust and friendship. Alex could lose everything because of this. Everything he was working to build, everything he had finally achieved. He should just stop thinking and go along with what Thomas wanted. He didn’t need to think about himself. As long as Thomas was happy, everything would be okay. 

They ate in relative peace. Alex got to see the interactions between Eliza and Maria, and he immediately saw what made them a good couple. Alex also got to meet a new student, Aaron Burr, whom he liked but knew he would disagree with. The problem with Aaron was that he lacked opinions on any particular matter, rather choosing to agree with the winning side. It was much like people with sporting matches, choosing the winning team, except Alex got the impression that Burr wouldn’t make a decision on anything important either, unless it benefitted him. 

Alex had almost forgotten his issue with Thomas, until lunch ended and Laf pulled him aside into a bathroom. They huddled into a cubicle and Laf instantly drew him into a hug, holding Alex close to his chest, fiddling with the ends of his hair.

“Are you okay, mon frère?” Laf was still holding him close, and Alex grinned at the words. Brother. He got the feeling that Lafayette would be in his life for as long as Alex wanted him there, no matter what happened to Alex in the future. It made him feel better, safer, knowing that whatever happened to him from now on, Lafayette would be there. He sighed and shook his head against Laf’s chest, not knowing how to respond. It was unusual, Alexander had never been so lost for words before he arrived in Virginia. 

“Thomas asked me out” the words left his mouth before he even thought about them, but he couldn’t make them stop. “Well, I think he did. He wants to talk after school, at some café. I don’t know what I’m doing here.” 

Lafayette laughed. He actually laughed. Alex stood and stared at him for a moment, before hitting his arm gently and pouting, waiting for Laf to finish. Eventually the chuckles died down and Laf grew more sombre and sympathetic, but an amused glint still remained in his eyes. 

“Mon petit lion, this is a good thing. Maybe you can work things out. Smooth things over from the last time you two ‘talked’.”   
Alex sighed, knowing Laf was right, but not fully being able to express the overwhelming feeling of dread that came over him when he thought about getting closer to Thomas. It was like a train was speeding straight at him with no way of stopping, but he was the only one who could see it, nobody else could understand why he was terrified, couldn’t understand why he was trying to escape from the tracks. 

“I know, mon ami.” Laf’s voice was soothing and drew Alex out of his own mind, pulling him back into the real world, to the bathroom floor they had somehow ended up sitting on. “You’re scared, I get it. But you shouldn’t be. Thomas is a good person and you should give him a chance.” 

Alex sighed and nodded, pulling away from Laf to sit opposite him on the floor. “I know, Laf. But what if it goes wrong? What if I mess up? What if he doesn’t like damaged immigrant orphans? What if I’m not what he wants. I wouldn’t blame him. I’m broken and loud-mouthed and I fight and argue and why would he be okay with that? Why would he want me?”

Alex was struggling for breath by the time he finished and he had tears clustered in his eyes. Lafayette didn’t know what to say, so he just moved so he was sat next to Alex, their shoulders pushed against each other, providing support without saying anything. Alex leaned into him, relishing in the warmth and comfort that Lafayette provided. 

“You, Alexander Hamilton, are perfect, just the way you are. Ever since you came here, everything has been so much better. I am so lucky and proud to be able to call you my brother. You are smart and talented and if Thomas Jefferson can’t see that then he’s not worth it. And soulmate or not, you don’t have to be with him. You can decide.”

Alex let the tears that he had been holding in spill out over his cheeks, a cascading waterfall that had been held behind a dam for far too long. Alexander hadn’t let himself cry like this in front of anyone for a long time and he had forgotten how comforting it could be to just let yourself fall apart in the presence of someone you love. He curled himself into Laf and cried until there were no more tears to cry. Lafayette just held him until his sobs subsided and the looked down at Alex, waiting until he wanted to talk. 

“Thank you.” Alex finally managed to choke out. “Nobody’s ever said anything like that to me before.” The lilt in Alex’s voice made Laf want to cry himself. He knew what it was like to be an orphan, and he knew of other people’s experiences of it as well, but he had never met anyone as broken as Alex; anyone who had felt so much pain. 

“I love you, Alexander. I am so glad I get to be your brother.” 

“I love you too Laf.” 

After a few minutes they got up from the floor and Laf helped Alex wipe his face and calm down. He pulled him into one last hug and made sure he got a smile out of him, before they went their separate ways, each going to a different class. Laf carried the concern with him after he left the bathroom, but he knew Alex would be okay. He was strong. He had to be okay. 

 

Lafayette arrived to his music class just as the bell rang, sinking into his seat next to Thomas. He glanced over at Thomas, who looked like he wanted to say something, but then their teacher started talking and they both looked back towards the front. 

It was nearly half way through the lesson when they were split into pairs to do group work and Thomas and Lafayette finally had a chance to talk. Laf was trying to come up with the words to say, a way to be encouraging and firm at the same time. However, he had no chance to speak before Thomas did.   
“I asked Alexander out earlier. Well, I think I did. I want to talk after school, at Take a Break. I don’t know what I’m doing here.” Lafayette laughed despite the worried look on Thomas’ face, thinking back to when Alex was telling him nearly the exact same things. Thomas looked offended at Laf’s laughing for a second, but his face relaxed and he rested his head on the desk with a thump. 

“I think I could really like him Gilbert. I know I don’t know him that well, but I really want this thing to turn out better than it started. I want this to work out.” Thomas’ voice sounded desperate by the end of his sentence and Laf could tell he was telling the truth. He just hoped, for Thomas and Alex’s sakes, that they could make work. 

“He wants it to work too, Thomas. He’s scared. He’s been running from everyone for a long time and I’m not sure he knows how to stop running. But, I know he wants it to work. With you.” Thomas’ head rose from the desk, cautiously meeting Laf’s eyes, a hopeful glint residing in his own. 

“He does? I mean… that’s good. That’s really good.” Thomas had a small smile on his face, just barely there. Laf knew in that moment that Thomas could be good for Alexander. If they made it work, if they embraced what they had, the soulmate thing, they could be good for each other. Thomas could help put Alex back together again, show him that not everybody who was supposed to love him would leave. And Alex could help Thomas too, show him how to be fiery and passionate. Show him how to live like you wouldn’t have a tomorrow. 

“But, I swear to God, if you hurt him, ever, I don’t care how good a friend you are to me, I will make sure nobody ever comes near you again. And then I will make sure you hurt every single day for the rest of your life.” 

To his surprise, Thomas smiled. It was small and there was a slight fear in his eyes, but he still smiled. He must have noticed the affronted look that Laf knew must have appeared on his face, because he quickly dropped the smile. 

“I’m glad he has you, Laf.” He was quick to explain. “When we spoke before, or argued I guess, he mentioned that he thought he’d be back in New York soon. He felt like he had nobody. And, I don’t know him very well, but I’m glad he has a brother like you. I’m glad that, maybe, he can feel like he has a place in this world.” 

Laf grinned, knowing that despite how much he was sure they would argue and fight, Alexander had found someone who would care about him despite all of that, through everything life could throw at them. He nodded and started working on the worksheet in front of them, smile still on his face, matching Thomas’. 

 

Meanwhile, Alex and John were sat together in their AP History class. They were talking quietly at the back of the room, while everyone else was busy copying down notes from the board. 

“So, how are you liking it here in Virginia? I know it’s no Manhattan or anything, but it’s pretty cool here, once you get used to it. You just have to ignore the assholes like Jefferson and his cronies. And I’m rambling, sorry.” John laughed and Alex forced himself to laugh too, but he couldn’t stop replaying John’s words in his head, spinning out of control. 

Jefferson had a reputation around here, Alex had known that, but he hadn’t realised how much he had hurt people before Alex arrived. He threw around money and family connections to make himself seem better and didn’t care about how it hurt the people around him. The more he heard about Thomas, the more he worried about how badly this could turn out. 

“Um.. yeah, Virginia is pretty nice I guess. Everything feels different here, but I think it’s a good thing.” Alex tried to sound casual with his words, not revealing too much about the inner turmoil he was experiencing. “I haven’t really had a chance to see much of it, to be completely honest.” 

John grinned, and Alex felt his breath hitch. John’s smile was like a thousand stars shining down from a stunning galaxy. It was like learning that magic was real and being introduced to a new world where nothing could ever go wrong again, where people didn’t leave or die and dreams could come true. Alex felt himself smile back and John’s smile warmed him, before drawing back when he remembered the meeting (date?) he had with Thomas later. 

“Well, I’ll show you around some time. I’ve lived here for years, so I know some really cool spots. I mean, if you want to, obviously.” The uncertainty in John’s voice broke Alex’s heart and he spared a second to wonder who had hurt him, who had made him believe that he wasn’t good enough. He suspected it was John’s father, from the way John acted the first time they met, and some of their interactions after that. He wanted to ask, but Alex knew first-hand that asking without warning would cause more trouble that it was worth. He used to be the same, hiding away from everyone so they could never find out the truth. 

“That would be great, thanks.” He was rewarded with another grin from John, although this one held a hint of apprehension. It was like the setting sun, a mystic beauty that the world would stop and watch in awe, but one that everybody knew meant the end, meant a hint of sadness, meant an inevitable goodbye. It was an ending filled with brilliance, before being plunged once again into darkness. And the sun would never know its own beauty, never know how its presence brightened the lives of everyone it shone upon. Alex couldn’t help thinking that John was the sun; people would often avert their eyes, blinded by the brightness, but whenever he was gone, when his smile was extinguished, he was missed by all. 

“So, you want to go tonight?” Alex sighed, barely being able to bring himself to put out the spark of hope in John’s eyes. He could always just meet with Thomas another evening, there was no reason that it had to be tonight. But Alex suspected that if he didn’t go tonight, he would never find the courage to go, would spend the rest of his life wondering what could have happened if he had gone with Thomas. He had always believed that fate would not control his life, that if he found someone like John he wouldn’t hesitate to be with them, wouldn’t hesitate to be happy. He just never expected to find his soulmate at the same time. 

“I’m sorry, I can’t tonight. I’m meeting.. someone and I can’t cancel. We could go any other evening this week though, if that’s okay?” 

John nodded, his smile gone but his eyes sincere, swimming with an emotion that Alex couldn’t quite make out, but would label as wistful if asked. He smiled at John, hoping to reassure him, make him realise that Alex really did want to spend time with him, wasn’t just looking for excuses not to go. He couldn’t think of any more words, so they both got to work copying off from the board, unsure of what to say to the other. 

 

Once the end of the day rolled around, Alex said goodbye to Laf, who hugged him tightly before running off to meet Hercules. He waited by the entrance gates of the school until Thomas showed up five minutes later, and easy smile on his face, even as worry sank into his eyes. 

It was when Alex saw Thomas like this, nervous and worried, caring, that he found it difficult to believe that this was the same person that had a reputation of being a bully, of using his wealth to pretend to be better than everyone else. It was when Thomas smiled and looked at Alexander with hope, like he could be the whole world, a new beginning, that Alex believed that Thomas could change, that they could be good together, despite Alex’s doubts. 

Alex smiled back and followed Thomas, thinking that this could be the start of the rest of his life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, Alex obviously has some problems that aren't healthy, but he realises this and will try to overcome it. Thank you all for reading, hope you enjoyed. Please leave comments and kudos, they make my day.

**Author's Note:**

> French Translations  
> Alexander! C'est si bon de vous rencontrer enfin! Nous attendons depuis si longtemps! Je m'appelle Lafayette; bien c'est ce que tout le monde m'appelle, mon vrai nom est trop long. Nous sommes si heureux de vous avoir ici!=Alexander! It's so good to finally meet you! We've been waiting for so long! My name is Lafayette; well that's what everyone calls me, my real name's too long. We are so glad to have you here!  
> Ne vous inquiétez pas, le français est ma langue maternelle=Do not worry, French is my native language.
> 
> I do not speak French very well (even after four years of lessons) so please tell me if there is anything I can do to make it better. Thanks for reading please comment and kudos if you want more.


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